“Delusion or Destiny…you choose!”
Hi B.O.M.B.com mommas! So, I experienced a short season stuck in delusion and it was worship that helped me exit quickly…so I write.
It all starts and ends in true worship! John 4:24 says, “God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth”.
For a moment my hearts desires drifted from Christ and shifted to my own. I was in delusion! I wanted what I wanted but I understood that my Heavenly Father wanted more, so much and so, that I feared even asking what He thought about my dating life. I feared He would say no, so I deployed to my own understanding! I was in delusion. For the first time in a long time, I felt seen! I felt beautiful! I felt sexy! I felt desired! I felt soft (kinda)! The delusion was a distraction from my day-to-day as a working mom of 3. It was an escape! It was an exhale! It was DELUSION!
A gentleman on my job showed interest and I gradually dropped my standard to consider his call of interest. He was charming, complimentary, and persistent. We discussed some things and I discovered he had raw materials and similar interests that would make a good partner. However, I discovered red flags that my yearn for companionship and partnership turned neon orange, so I chose delusion. It was safe there because it was a familiar trauma response from my previous relationship. I noticed over time, that long-term commitment might be a challenge since we both had foundational differences that would leave us both incomplete; so I chose delusion. He said all the right things any girl would want to hear; especially a divorced woman whose focus in this season is to rediscover relationships and to position one’s self for (re)marriage! Delusion became my place of rest every time I saw an inconsistency, red flag, unhealed wound, trauma response, and lifestyle choice inconsistent to biblical truth. My friend Delusion convinced me that my standards and expectations were mine to own, but to consider the favorable attributes this gentleman had and ignore areas that would cause me to question my self worth and God’s call. He wasn’t a bad guy, just not my guy! Delusion said, “ just be friends and take it slow. Maybe you don’t have enough information.
Then as distracted as could be, I landed on social media for solace. In my search for rest and a tool to numb my in-contentment, I stumbled upon worship! The song that so called my spirit man from amongst to buried ruble of delusion was a 30 second clip of, “You are Holy”! After listening to this short clip over and over again, I went to YouTube to bask in the full version of this song. And like the loving Father that our God is, I entered His presence and replaced Delusion with Destiny!
It only took a moment in God’s presence to realign my selfish desires with His! Immediately I felt conviction and I was remorseful for even allowing such delusion in to distract me from His presence! So I write…
I write mommas to remind us that in our fickle human desire to be valued, loved, seen, and adored by a man, we sometimes forfeit our destiny to accept the mere crumbs of affection! What I’m learning in this season is that when God’s guy comes along, worship will be at the center, as a steady posture to keep God’s presence front and center!
So, back to the drawing board ladies…I will miss this rendezvous with delusion, but my destiny awaits and will soon meet the right man at the foot of Jesus in worship!!!
Love,
Monique’s Moments
Monique's Moments
Hello my fellow mommies!!! 😊 My name is Monique Jameison and I love writing!!! I will share my heart on topics that bring healing to me with hopes that you find something that speaks to your situation and encourages you to know that you are the B.O.M.B.com, despite your circumstance as a mom who may be experiencing burnout; hence the acronym B.O.M.B.com (The Burnt-Out Mommy Blog)! As I authentically share my journey, I graciously call my posts, "Monique's Moments". I welcome you to come along this journey with me... I am a newly single mommy of three amazing kiddos: Stephen (14), Taiden (6), and Ivy-Mone't (3). I am a survivor of abuse and am recently divorced after almost 16 years of marriage. Now, I am on a journey of healing and rediscovering who I am in this new season of life. I am a follower and lover of Jesus and biblical truth is the final authority in my life. I value the model of the traditional family as being between one woman and one man who have been created in God's image to serve in unique roles within the family unit. I value the role of the man in the family and his unique role to lead, serve, provide, and protect his wife and children under God's headship. I value the role of the woman in the family and her unique role to submit to her husband, serve her family, and mother her children by nurturing, loving, rearing, and teaching them. Due to sin and living in a fallen world, the family unit is under attack by the very enemy of our soul, the devil. The American culture is counter to and makes it very hard for mankind to walkout biblical truth. As such, homes are broken and our children are being raised inside of single-family homes mostly absent from fathers, distracted by two working parents with little time to fully engage their children with intention, and overly stimulated children glued to technology as electronic baby-sitters. I admit, I am guilty of it ALL! I am a mother raising children in a broken home, work outside of the home, and use technology out of balance. As a Christian, I am not perfect, I am progressing! I thank God for Jesus' blood shed for my sins and I have hope in God's provision forward! As an intentionally mommy, I commit to surrounding my children with people, places, and things that reinforce God’s design for marriage and family, and value the role of the church as a community of believers whose purpose is to be God’s hands and feet. I BLOG from a place of empathy, experience, authenticity, and LOVE! I will approach this blog with positivity and will seek to understand a person's uniquely lived experience and engage from a posture of non-judgement and encourage my fellow reader to pray and do the same. En Christ’s Love, Monique J. Jameison
